Month: July 2022

I decided to answer a few possible questions some of you might have. What happened to my husband in all this mess? Well, he didn’t end up going to prison, I’ll start there. I’ll try in this post to explain some things but excuse me if I come across as vague. There’s an area here that I want to expand upon and I feel that I can’t without crossing that line. I messed up. I’m not going to get into things beyond this right now. I’m going to skip to how I ended up going to prison and my husband didn’t. We were both charged with the exact same charges. When our case was pushed from the preliminary hearing to court we had to them hire separate lawyers. A shock to us because we’d never been through this before. A lawyer can’t represent codependents in a case. It could cause a conflict of interest. I was given a choice to stay with the attorney we had or go for the new one. I chose to stay. My husband let the choice up to me. Right before the trial started a bunch of motions were filed. It’s part of the process. My husbands lawyer addressed the court regarding evidence they had for me va him. He was also going to testify on my behalf. Again that could’ve been a blow to the DAs case. So again anything that I could use or needed in my defense was blocked or shut down. An offer was made to him that the two major charges would be dropped, he would receive 3 years probation but couldn’t testify. The alternative was he refused and took the gamble. He would go on trial too and if found guilty serve a sentence in prison. Therefore what would also happen to our sons? At least with this deal for him, he could be there for them, keep our home and help me while I served my time. If he could’ve switched roles he would’ve but that’s wasn’t the choice we were given. I was never offered a deal. Unlike TV it’s not something that has to happen. Many have questioned why I went to prison and my husband didn’t. I wasn’t thrown under the bus by him. I was thrown under the bus and run over by the court system.

***THIS POST CONTAINS EXPLICIT LANGUAGE THAT MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO SOME READERS. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED“””

When I first came to S unit and was put into medlocks, I was actually by myself, it was kind of boring, yet I enjoyed the quiet after being in a gym makeshift dorm with 48 bunks and no buffer for noise. I used most of that time to read my Bible, pray, and catch up on letters I needed to write. We ate, slept, and had yard right in the area of S unit. We never left that area, unless it was to go to the Dr’s, commissary, church, or another appointment. We couldn’t go to activities like church until we were out of medlocks. Once we were able to go to church, we then went with only people in classification aka “blues”. BTW, the clothing they gave to us in blues was extremely ill fitting. It was definitely meant to be humbling and disgraceful. The pants were torn at the bottoms from being walked on over and over again. The shirts weren’t meant to be tucked in because the sides were cut to be left out; however, we were required to KEEP THEM TUCKED IN. You had to wear undergarments at all times, and a brown t-shirt under your blue button up. The blue shirt had to be buttoned all way to the top except the button by your throat. You didn’t have to wear your state shoes unless you were going to a visit or leaving the facility for an appointment. Therefore, most people buy sneakers. I’m including some photos below that I want you to use as a reference to put into context some of the things I’m going to tell you next. When I was moved out of medlocks, my first cell was at the top of the steps. I was with the original roommate maybe a month until she was classified and moved to general population aka “browns”. The next roommate or cellie we called them was Nini. She was a sweet girl from WV originally. I saw this girl coming across the block with a khimar (pronounced key-mar) on her head. She’s all bubbly and smiling. She was Muslim after marrying her husband. Her and I had the best times together. We were silly, we laughed, we made food together. We even took paper and made them into long cones and taped my ear buds to the pointy end of the cone. Well, they just made decent speakers lol, for jail anyway. She kept having problems with her head covering coming undone. I said couldn’t we take a hook off a bra and sew it on each side so that you can hook it? Now, let me say, I CAN NOT SEW. Well, you learn to do a lot of things in jail, even if it’s coming up with a solution like this one. It sort of worked, but the cloth was too silky. We ended up getting separated because Nini kept putting orange rinds down the toilet. I told her, stop putting stuff in there. It’s going to clog like everyone else’s and then we’ll get separated. Well, it clogged, and we got separated. She put her head down and said, I’m sorry Miss Jodie I should’ve listened to you. She became my neighbor. My next cellie, was Fallon. Fallon and I know each other from talking around the block, in dayroom, or yard. She was happy to see I was her new cellie. Once, she was classified and was transferred to Cambridge springs, my prior cellie Nini left shortly after too. A few days later, the Sargent buzzes my room and pops the door to my cell. He says, “Tierney you’re getting a new cellie.” I get up and see her coming. She looks decent enough. She comes in and I say hi and introduce myself. She makes her bed, and then starts pacing around the room. As you can see from the photos below, the room is not that big and pacing works on my nerves. It makes me feel like I need to do something and amps up my anxiety. Well, she won’t sit down either. She wants to keep standing at the lockers that you can see in the one photo. The lockers are between the table and sink/toilet. There’s not enough room to just stand there and not move. I hear her starting to laugh. I said, “what’s so funny?” She says, “oh nothing I’m laughing at my friends”. (note: I’m thinking she’s kidding or she’s recalling something funny her and her friends did). She keeps asking me when they will call meds. I said, we get meds right after breakfast and in the evening after dinner. Unless you’re diabetic or take something requiring it at an off time. She tells me no, that she gets her meds then. One of the rules is you don’t hit the call button unless it’s for certain reasons. Well, she keeps hitting the button. The one officer said, ask Tierney and she will explain it to you. I said I tried sir. Finally, I talked to the Sargent on the side and told him she’s not taking her meds and she’s arguing with me when I try to explain when it’s time to take them. They obviously felt it was my job to help her, so I needed them to know I wasn’t the asshole here. Next, when you’re in classification part of the process is having school testing done to see what level of education you have. Also, they have you take some psychology tests. One test is about 300 questions, many are the same but asked differently to see how you’ll respond. I’m sure you’ve all seen variations of these tests when you go for job interviews, etc. They give you quite a bit of time to complete the questions. If you don’t, the Psych lady will bring your packet to you, w/ a pencil even for you to finish in your cell. Well, she must have stuck that thing under the door 2-3 times for my cellie to complete it. Finally, one day on the 3rd try, I stopped her and said, “she’s not going to finish that for you. I tried to explain to her what it was for, and it’s needed for her to be classified.” She then asked me why she wouldn’t complete it. I told her, “Because she told me you aren’t giving her enough time to study.”. The poor lady just looked at me dumbfounded. I had to then explain to her that I’ve seen this girl talking to herself, talking to and answering friends that aren’t there. She even answered the phone one day. (We don’t have phones). She thanked me for the info, and I never saw the packet of info again. A few days later, she was standing by the locker, talking to a “friend” when I heard her discussing taking a girl to an alley to beat and rape her. I’m like, “Are you ok?” She says, “yeah I’m just talking to my friends, I don’t know you very well, so I talk to them”. I then ask her if she’d mind sitting in her bunk. 99% of the time, we sit or lay in our bunks. It’s the most comfortable spot. Also, that way you aren’t standing in the way when someone has to get past or go to the bathroom. Not to mention, I can’t get in my locker without asking her to move. A few days, later after listening to her complain about a sore on her foot from her state boot, she finally went to see medical. She got back to the cell and so I asked her how did it go? While it’s not my business I asked because she involved me in the entire process from the time it started hurting including how to write the sick call. So, didn’t I earn the write the ask if she was ok? She climbs up in her bunk (finally!) and she starts talking. I hear her saying things about blind folding “her” and putting a pillow over “her” face. I start praying. I mean praying and putting on the full armor of God praying. I reach up and start to draw a cross under her bunk. As sure as I sit here typing this to you today, when I drew that first line then the second to make the cross, I saw a spark come out of my finger. I pulled my finger away and knew I was dealing with something sinister. I sat on the desk stool (see pic below for reference on how close they are to the bunks). and I calmly said to her (continuously using her name) asking if she was ok. I asked if she needed to talk to someone. I explained to her that she was worrying me and that I understand. WARNING!!!!!! She sat up and learned down towards me. Her eyes were completely black, and I knew this was NOT normal. As a Christian, I knew it was Satan. She then looks at me and says in the most demonic voice I ever heard in person, “YOU NEED TO STOP STICKING KNIVES IN MY PUSSY”. I don’t know what the distance was from that stool to the door where the call button is, but I hit the call button. The Sargent clicks on and says, “I’m busy” and clicks off. I say, ” not today, Satan, not today”. I push the call button again and explain to him that I am in fear for my life, and he needs to open the door NOW. She’s hollering in the background, and I know they can hear her. He pops the door and I rush down the steps. I’m shaking so bad that I can hardly stand still. The officer comes out to meet me and by the grace of God the psych lady comes out at the same time. I tell him everything and the psych lady tells him some things and he tells me to please go back up to my cell and he’ll have her moved. I look at him and don’t ask but state-I’m going back up but I’m NOT closing the door. He chuckles and says that’s fine. She was gone a few minutes later. Thank you, Lord, for being my Rock, my Fortress and my protector. You are my shield and buckler Psalms 91.#Prison, #Gods Grace, #Gods Protection, #inmate, #DOC

As the months in 2019, quickly ticked by I wanted to prepare myself for what was ahead when I arrived at SCI Muncy. Pennsylvania only has 2 female prisons. SCI Muncy and SCI Cambridge Springs. All females must first go to SCI Muncy for classification. A few of the ladies in county with me had been upstate previously and were willing to sit myself, Kim and Pat down to have a mini “lesson” of what to expect. I feel that being prepared and having some information going into a scary situation helps. My friend Brandi was one of those that shared what our first couple of months would be like, and it went exactly as she described. On, August 31, 2019, we were awakened by the officer that day telling us we were packing out to leave. In jail/prison it is customary to leave your stuff to your friends that are left behind. (Unless you are going to a center where you may possibly need some of your things). I gave my leftover commissary to my friends Brandi and Angie. I also left my Nike slides to Brandi. She didn’t have anything, and I knew she really needed them even when she left. I was allowed to bring my Bible, a pen, tablet and some photos. I believe that was it. The clothing we wore to court the day we were brought into jail are the same clothes we were given to wear for our trip to Muncy. We were stripped searched, then got dressed, and given a snack pack to eat. (Cereal, milk, graham crackers). We also received our meds. Last, you are handcuffed and shackled. Handcuffs on your wrists and feet, then a chain goes around your waist through a loop and locked with a pad lock. Off to the car you go. They put us in a regular SUV type car. (It was frustrating because they stopped to get Starbucks on the way for themselves which we all though was high inappropriate since they were carrying inmates). It takes about 2-2.5 hours to get to Muncy from our jail. Once you arrive, the vehicle itself has to go through a check, the county officers hand us off to the state through signing paperwork, and they wish us luck and leave. We then are seated inside the processing area to await instructions. You are basically asked a bunch of questions, get a state ID photo taken that is to be kept with you at all times, you pee in a cup, get strip searched and then issued your “blues”. You have to wear these ugly slip-on sneakers until you to get your state shoes. You have to walk from the processing building down to medical which isn’t terribly far, but when you’re out of shape and haven’t exercised, plus have asthma-it was tough. Meanwhile, a group was waiting in the chow line and started yelling “fresh meat” at us. Just like you see on tv. I kid you not! The 3 of us wanted to die right there. We were walking with a guard, and she yelled at them to shut it up. We were then processed through medical, given a lunch bag, then instructed to walk back up towards the processing building to another building to get our shoes and coat. You’re given a heavy winter coat that’s like burgundy corduroy. We called them Muncy Minks. You get a choice of 2 different shoes, either work boots or brown shoes that we called sweet potatoes. They were the color of sweet potatoes, and even kind of oddly shaped like them too. I tried the boots, and they rubbed my ankles raw, so I had to switch to the sweet potatoes. They weren’t too bad honestly. Once you get to order commissary, you are allowed to order sneakers from a selection on the list. They range from $50-$70 (Nike, New Balance, Sketchers, Reebok, Under Armor). Once we received all of our clothing, shoes, and were seen by medical, we were then sent to our housing unit. All new commits go to S unit, and you have to stay in medlocks. Basically, you are quarantined for about 5 days (pre covid) to make sure you didn’t have anything contagious. Once you’re TB test and everything cleared, they then moved you into the same unit but now you got to move around more. You officially would receive a roommate. Having a good roommate was half the battle in there. If you had someone who was good, and you got along then things were generally pretty decent. I thank the Lord that 98% of the time I loved my roommates and we got along. Until the devil himself showed up….

I decided to use the title of this post to bring awareness to those of you who will be fortunate enough to never step foot into a jail/prison. Before I was arrested, I too had the same mentality. First, we are all one mistake away from being in the same position that I put myself in. Let me give you a few scenarios to bring to light the possibility. Did you know that PA’s “self-defense” law has so many facets to it that a good prosecutor will arrest you and will send you to prison? (https://www.legis.state.pa.us/WU01/LI/LI/CT/HTM/18/00.005.005.000..HTM) I can share some stories with you I heard while incarcerated that even if an ounce of them were true it would make you scratch your head. A lot of folks have a hot head/temper, and you just get sick of it and end up punching someone in the face. Maybe not even the face, but the chest. You end up accidentally killing them or you mess them up pretty badly. Next thing you know you’re arrested for assault or worse involuntary manslaughter because of you got ticked off. Here’s another one, you decide to move or buy a new mattress/sofa. You pick it up and put in in your truck. Oops, the straps come loose, and it flies off the truck and ends up killing the driver in the car behind you. (https://law.justia.com/codes/pennsylvania/2010/title-75/chapter-49/4903) You now have an unsecured load violation, but you’re also looking at possible manslaughter or vehicular homicide charges. You get my point, and hopefully understand that I will never say never again. I never had a record, not even as a juvenile. You’re lucky if I had a speeding ticket! (I recall 1 in my entire driving privilege, and 1 warning just to be honest). So now, if you do the crime, should you do the time? Because now I’ve put you or a loved one into this scenario. Still don’t have you convinced. What if I told you that the newspapers don’t always print the truth? I mean, they have papers to sell and in the words of a reporter to my family, “people don’t want to buy or know the truth”. Hmm..is that true? Again, I don’t want to drive too far into personal details, but something occurred during my case. The one family made accusations. A county police officer called the DA’s office and told them that these statements weren’t true, and he had video proof. One of the family members had a friend that was a reporter at the paper who would write EVERYTHING involving my case. Well, when my family called to request the story be updated with the newfound info, they received the statement above. Of course, everyone went to social media demanding, “send them to jail…” That’s frustrating to say the least. The paper publishes these articles, then your “peers” read it and then come to sit on your jury. Next, there’s a cost to housing to inmates and you are paying the bill. Did you know it costs approximately, $41,000/year to house 1 inmate? Your hard-earned tax dollars are footing the bill. (don’t say then kill them either because that’s a whole other debate and you’re still housing them years on end until if/when they’re executed). Now as a former inmate of the SCI, here is what I can tell you as a known fact. You do get 2 ok meals per day (lunch/dinner), and breakfast isn’t even a meal. There are items that we as inmates believed we should have been getting but were denied. We knew other SCI’s were receiving them through families of other inmates, correspondence from prison societies or inmate magazines. Three times during less than a month, announcements were made that special staff appreciations were being hosted. You all work and I remember maybe my employer doing something once a year for appreciation, not including Christmas. This was 3 times in less than a month. You pay the staff’s salaries/pensions (which was assumed). I never understood the pension. None of you receive a pension unless you’re a state/federal worker. Most people have 401K’s, where you and your employer contribute. Not just taxpayers. Part of this money goes to medical costs, of which inmates are still charged a $5 copay per visit unless it’s for a chronic illness (high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.). You as an inmate are charged then for your meds unless they are for chronic illnesses. This is paid with your $.19-.50/hour wage. that’s cents not dollars! When you go to medical, you’re faced with either being called a liar because we, “we’re just inmates and they all lie”, therefore not taken seriously. There is some staff who care, others who are there to put in their shift and go home. Somedays I saw fellow inmates go to the medical annex to pick up meds they requested 5 or more times only to be told to re-request it. Everything in prison/jail is via a request form. Fill it out, drop it in a box and wait. And wait..and wait some more. When given your meds at the annex, you don’t see the actual pill pack they’re dispensed from. You receive your pill in a cup. You should always check what they are giving you and question it if it’s not looking right. In county I received someone’s meds by mistake. I ended up sleeping all afternoon after receiving what they think was Seroquel. I again received something incorrectly in county, only to have the nurse get snippy when it was questioned. I mean, who am I to question a nurse when I’m JUST an inmate. Once when I was upstate I was handed a very very bright pink pill. I said, “oh no, that is not mine! I get nothing pink”. She laughed and said, “oh yeah you’re right, that’s not yours. You’d have been ok but it was just a Benadryl”. Why, because I’m just an inmate? How did she know I’d be ok? So, the staff YOU are paying, aren’t even capable of doing the job they’re hired to do. Again, I’m not saying all, because I trusted a few while i was there and I knew who they were. When I 1st got there, they did a complete physical exam, eye exam, dental exam, etc. In the 3 years I was there I never saw the dentist again until I went to SCI Pheonix. The dentist there was horrified and told me he cussed out the staff in the women’s facility for not taking better care of us. I never got to see him again because of covid and were sent back to Muncy/Cambridge. I never saw another dentist until I needed an emergency extraction. They wouldn’t schedule me for anything else because my min date was approaching. I mean, I’m just an inmate-why do I need good teeth right? I suppose out of that $42K the taxpayers contribute, you’d think we’d get toiletries. Well, sorta…they provide you with an indigent bag upon arrival. It contains hotel sized shampoo, deodorant, soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, a black comb and a razor. None of the item’s work. You stink after using it. If you do need another one, they make it that you have to request it and if the counselor is out then you don’t get it. I believe this is part of the bigger picture to then force you to purchase commissary. (https://www.witf.org/2020/02/05/in-pa-jails-women-are-paying-more-than-double-for-the-same-tampons-theyd-get-on-the-outside/) A way for your friends and family to send money so you can at least have the necessary items to survive. If you have a headache, medical says buy it off commissary. if you have an itch, buy it off commissary. You have dandruff, by it off commissary. (Wait, I thought medical was supposed to help us?) They will for $5 copay, plus $5 for aspirin. The $.19/hour you make has 25% taken out automatically to go to your fines/restitution. So out of $25, you keep $18. I was fortunate enough to have family/friends to help me. They put money on my account, sent me books/magazines and access packages. (https://www.prisonpolicy.org/reports/commissary.html) They also put money on the phone system. The money alone that they spent while I was there the 3.5 years is well over the thousands. (https://www.prisonphonejustice.org/state/PA/). The housing is moldy, broken, and run down. Inmates run everything under the supervision of staff. During covid, everything came to a screeching halt because we weren’t allowed out to do the work. I can continue to go on and on. I’ll continue to tell you more of my story as the days unfold. What I can tell you is this, I WAS NOT JUST AN INMATE. I am someone’s wife, mother, daughter, sister, grand-daughter, niece, aunt, cousin and friend. Many state representatives are starting to see that something needs to change. (https://www.pahouse.com/Briggs/InTheNews/NewsRelease/?id=122501) So next time, before speaking educate yourself and know that you could be next.

Before I continue with my story from the last post, I want to share some other funny stories with you. So, on 06/16/19 my oldest son came to visit with me. In county there’s no contact visits. It’s just like you see on tv, where I’m on one side of the glass and he’s on the other. We talk using a phone. During the visits apparently another girl was scene on the cameras trying to pass something through a hole in the glass. Later that day, one of the officers came to the dorm to get me since I was there at the same time. She wanted to question me and see if I knew/saw anything. We walked to the visiting room together and the door closed behind us. Normally, precautions are taking when an inmate is with a guard, however most of the staff remembered me from before and knew I was of no risk whatsoever. Most in fact thought me being there wasn’t the correct punishment, but there I was. When we went to leave, here the door locked, and she didn’t have her key. So, I’m locked in a room with a guard. She says to me, “now I need to call my supervisor and explain how/why I’m locked in a room with an inmate”. The supervisor shows up to let us out, comes around the corner and is laughing at us. The supervisor says, “you didn’t tell me you were in there with Tierney.” She let us out and after a good chuckle I returned to my dorm. In August before I was transferred upstate, I saw something no one should have to witness. A group of us were waiting to be escorted back from church to our dorm. A girl was in a holding cell and wasn’t being cooperative. A call was made and the extraction team showed up. It was 5 staff members who extracted her. Her screaming was insane. She fought and they ended up placing her in a chair restraint. Had she cooperated, none of this wouldn’t needed to take place. It was heart wrenching to watch. The guards weren’t forceful. I just hoped to never have to see that again! I’m only sharing this because I don’t want you to think every day was a walk in the park. It wasn’t. I learned however that it was what you made it. Cooperate, follow the rules, mind your own business and things should be ok. One of the final pieces of mail that I received before going upstate was from a lady I never met and didn’t know at all. She wrote me a letter explaining that she didn’t personally know me but followed my story though the news. It was honestly sent to me by the Lord, because it was beginning of my healing and forgiveness. (She was actually an author for Children’s books.) She let me know that a lot of people were supportive of me and felt I shouldn’t have been punished so severely. Just to hear that from someone I never met, allowed me to just cry. I sat with Brandi and Angie and just cried my eyes out. A release that was way overdue. I get it, you’re wondering about Brandi and what happened next. Well, a young lady came into the jail that I recognized from before. She remembered me being nice to her and how I read my Bible. She came to me one day and started asking me questions about God. She did this here and there and Brandi kept coming over telling me, “She’s a lost cause, she’ll forgot all this when she leaves here, you’re wasting your time”. I said, “look, the Lord is sending her to me for a reason. I need to at least talk to her and if she doesn’t listen now then later it might save her life”. My job is to be obedient to the Lord. I sat with her and one of things I asked her to do was to read Galatians and Ephesians and come back to talk. I felt that this was where the Lord was leading me to send her. Most of the questions that she was asking me was about getting right with God and some sexual immorality issues. She was concerned that she was so far gone in sin that God wouldn’t take her back. I explained that iwe’re being changed, but we still sin. Paul explains how the Holy Spirit works in us to battle our sinful desires. It’s in Galatians that we find the fruit of the Spirit (Ga 5:22–23). That doesn’t give us a free ticket to keep sinning recklessly, however. Ephesians 2:8-10: “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” We have to shield ourselves from spiritual warfare. Ephesians 6:10-11: “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” I explained that that means staying in God’s word and in his presence at all times. Remember when I talked to you before about being baby Christians? The book of Ephesians pretty much sums up this concept. First, as followers of Christ, we must fully understand who God declares us to be. We must also become grounded in the knowledge of God’s accomplishment for all humanity. Next, our present existence and walk must become exercised and strengthened. This must continue until we no longer totter or stagger back and forth. While my conversation with his young lady wasn’t only based on her readings, the Holy Spirit led me into a conversation with her that it could have only come from the Lord himself. I walked away from that conversation knowing that those words didn’t come to me on their own. I can’t recall the exact words to spoke to her, but I remember taking to her about forgiveness. She had lost her mother fairly young and recently had lost her fiancé. Neither of them she had a chance to say goodbye to. She was living with that guilt and pain for a long time. One thing I learned while spending time with addicts is a lot of their addiction was to self-medicate pain. Emotional or physical pain. I asked her if she could write a letter to each of them. Tell them exactly what it is that she would want to tell them if she had the chance. I said she didn’t have to share it with anyone else. I said then I would read it to them when she was alone. She said she thought she’d like to go to the cemetery to read it. I said that’s up to her. Next, I told her once she reads it, to then burn or tear up the letter. I said once she does this to then give it to God. She can’t keep living in the past, it’s not what they would want for her. It’s not what God wants for her either. This conversation was so profound, it stays with me to this day. It seemed to affect her positively, but whether or not she did what we talked about-only God knows. I never saw her again. I was transferred upstate on 8/30/99.