Journey of Faith

That didn’t go as planned

So, if you’re just starting to follow my blog, you’ll want to start out under “My Testimony”. I was granted release on bail pending the results of my appeal. Looking back on this, I don’t believe it was the Lord’s will for me to file for my appeal. Another reason why I started to ask for it to be withdrawn. I need to explain something to all of you first that many of you may not know. I didn’t, so that’s why I’m sharing it with you. As believers we first become baby Christians. We start out by attending church on a regular basis, accept the Lord as our savior, then continue to go to church and have the Pastor or other’s spoon feed us whatever Bible knowledge we need to know. I’m not saying this is wrong or trying to upset anyone. I am stating a fact that 99% of us do this and will continue to do this. God did not intend for us to be spoon fed our faith. If you don’t believe me, I’ll be more than happy to have a Bible study with you. If you aren’t familiar with the Apostle Paul, I suggest you curl up with the good book and get to know him. Paul tells us multiple times “do not be uninformed”. Had I been “informed”, I would have known that by taking matters into my own hands, I was also doubting God. I had already prayed to him and asked for his help, but then I took it back and tried to handle it on my own. Waiting is hard, and patience isn’t a virtue I have. After waiting for a year and a half for the answer, it came the week before Memorial Day weekend in May of 2019. My appeal was denied, and I had to go back to jail. I was with my mom at the time, and I just remember looking at her and saying, “Mom, I just want to get this over with”. I had no fight left and I wasn’t as afraid as I was the first time since I knew what to kind of expect. I appeared at the courthouse with just Steve and my attorney. I was again remanded into custody and sent down to central booking to wait for transport to county jail. I would then need to go back to the courthouse in July of 2019 because as the DA promised, he had my sentence vacated and I was resentenced to 3.5-8 years. As much as that sucked, I took a deep breath and was relieved because it could’ve been a lot worse. He was asking for 5. In Pennsylvania we have sentencing guidelines and there’s a lot of factors that go into them. All those factors considered; the Judge has some discretion but also doesn’t want to go so far outside of them to the point they could be excessive. (According to the guidelines). The 6 months I did prior was credited to my time I had yet to do. I was more informed this time on what to expect once I got to the county jail. I first looked up on the inmate roster to see who was currently incarcerated. I saw there were a few people that were there either still from when I left or had returned. This was unfortunate for them, but good for me. I knew then I would have people who I could ask for coffee or snacks until I was able to put in my commissary order. I put on extra socks, 2 bras knowing that I could wear them in and then eventually use them to trade for items I would need until my commissary order came. I also knew that if I wore in my own slides, I would be allowed to keep them rather than wearing dollar store flip flops that were slippery on wet floors. (When I left to go upstate, I gave them to a friend). The boys thought I was nuts, but I knew what I had to do. Luckily, we didn’t seem to have to wait as long to be transported to the jail. It was me and 2 other ladies this time. One was so high and out of it, I don’t think she knew who she was or where she was. The other lady and I chatted but nothing memorable. The three of us ended up in the same classification dorm that I was in before. I also didn’t stay there as long as I did the first time (I guess they figured I knew what to expect). Honestly, I was more ready to go to G dorm than to stay in classification this time. Once you get to general housing there’s more to do. Remember Jackie that I mentioned before? Well, she was there and kindly offered me coffee, snacks and I was even able to trade my socks for additional items needed. I even had several people offer to pay me $25 for my slides. I declined because I would need those. I had unfortunately found out that quite a few of the ladies who I met during my 1st six months died from drug overdoses. These were people who I remember helping me, being kind, and laughing with every day during that time. I made some new friends, one whom I gave my slides to when I left to go upstate. Her name is Brandi. I also became very close to a few other ladies, Angelina, Pat, and Kim. Pat, Kim and I would all go upstate together one the same day. I’ll tell you about that later. Brandi and I spent every day together. I’ve not seen or heard from her since. I pray she is ok and that she too didn’t succumb to an overdose. Brandi and I would only have one disagreement the entire time and it was because the Lord brought a young lady into the gym that remembered me from before. She knew I was a Christian and started asking me very serious questions about her faith. What happened next still amazes me!