Bible Study

Embracing God’s Testing: A Path to Spiritual Growth

When faced with trials and challenges in our spiritual journey, it is natural to attribute them solely to the devil’s influence. However, we often overlook the fact that God allows testing in our lives to strengthen our faith and deepen our spiritual foundation. In this blog post, we will explore the significance of God’s testing in our spiritual growth and delve into relevant Bible scripture that sheds light on this topic.

  1. Understanding the Purpose of Testing: Rather than viewing testing as a negative experience, we should embrace it as an opportunity for growth. God’s testing refines us, purifies our hearts, and strengthens our character. Just as gold is tested through fire, our faith is refined through trials (1 Peter 1:7). These challenges shape us into stronger individuals who are better equipped to navigate life’s obstacles.
  2. Building Trust and Dependence on God: When we face trials, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and question God’s presence in our lives. However, these moments of testing are opportunities for us to develop unwavering trust and reliance on God. In the face of adversity, we can learn to surrender our burdens to Him, knowing that His strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). God desires to draw us closer to Him and deepen our relationship through these testing periods.
  3. Strengthening Our Faith: Faith that has not been tested remains shallow and fragile. Just as physical exercise strengthens our muscles, testing fortifies our faith. James 1:3-4 reminds us that testing produces endurance and matures our faith, making us complete and lacking in nothing. By facing and overcoming trials, we become witnesses to God’s faithfulness, which bolsters our confidence in Him.
  4. Discovering Hidden Strengths: God’s testing often reveals untapped potential within us. When we encounter challenges, we are pushed out of our comfort zones, enabling us to discover inner strengths we may not have realized we possessed. As we face trials, we can rely on the Holy Spirit’s guidance and tap into our God-given abilities to overcome obstacles and achieve personal growth.
  5. Embracing Growth in Humility: Testing also teaches us humility, reminding us that we are not self-sufficient but dependent on God’s grace and provision. It humbles us to acknowledge our limitations and rely on His strength. Proverbs 3:11-12 tells us that God disciplines those He loves, just as a loving parent corrects their child. Through testing, God molds us into humble and obedient servants.

When faced with spiritual warfare, we must shift our perspective on testing. Instead of blaming the devil for every trial, let us embrace the truth that God uses these challenges to refine our faith, deepen our relationship with Him, and strengthen our spiritual foundation. By studying and applying relevant scriptures, we can gain a better understanding of God’s purpose in testing and grow in our ability to navigate the trials we face. May we approach these moments with faith, knowing that God’s testing is a pathway to spiritual growth and transformation.

Photo by Pixabay:

#spiritual warfare, #Testing Faith, #Armor of God

Journey of Faith

Walking in Faith

As Christians, we are called to walk by faith, not by sight. This means that even when things seem dark and uncertain, we can trust in God’s promises. Psalm 91:11 is a powerful reminder that God’s protection is always available to us, as long as we keep our eyes fixed on Him. I love the story of the disciples in the boat during the storm. They were freaking out and Jesus was just snoozing away. They thought that he was going to let them all die. What they forgot was that they kept their eyes on the storm and not on him. I’ve been tested in about any way imaginable, and one thing was certain was that no matter what, I had to keep my eyes on the Lord. It’s very easy to blame him or think “Why have you forsaken me?” Even King David and Jesus himself cried out to God asking this very question. “Oh Lord, why have you forsaken me?” 1. Psalm 22:1 – “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish?” 2. Matthew 27:46 – “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” In both cases, the speaker – King David in Psalm 22 and Jesus on the cross in Matthew 27 – expresses his feelings of loneliness, despair, and abandonment to God. However, both passages also demonstrate that even in the depths of despair, the speakers continue to turn to God in faith, holding onto the hope that God will ultimately deliver them. I know that it’s hard to see that during difficult times, but trust me. God is always there for us. Trust in him always!

Photo by nappy:

#Bible, #Trust In The Lord, #Faith, #God, #Jesus, #God Why Have You Forsaken Me, #Psalms 91

Journey of Faith

Saying Goodbye

I was told once to never say goodbye, just say “so long”. The idea was that if you say “so long”, you will see them again. Today, I am saying, “so long” to a friend I’ve known since kindergarten. Growing up, there wasn’t a lot of kids in my neighborhood. Once I got to school, I started making friends and quickly became friends with a girl living down the street. We had a lot in common. Her first and middle name was the same as mine. Our dads were the same age difference as our moms. Our dads both served in the Air Force. I was born the day before Valentine’s Day and she was born on April Fool’s Day. We spent endless weekends together, and when I wasn’t at her house then she was coming to mine to hang out. As we got older, we hung out together with our high school boyfriends and later she became my maid of honor. We grew apart as time passed. I moved away to West Virginia, then Maryland. Time just got away from both of us. I would see her every now and then and I even stopped by the jewelry store that she owned once or twice. I’m grateful that I was able to message her just the other week to see how she was doing. I knew that she had breast cancer and that it wasn’t good. I had hoped and prayed that any treatments that she was taking would make it all go away. I don’t know why some people beat cancer, and then other people seem to fight with all the strength that they have and can’t win. Cancer sucks! You would think by now there would be a cure. Maybe there is and they just aren’t telling us. Growing up and going through elementary school, junior high, and high school with my friend, I saw how everyone either wanted to be her, be like her, or be with her. They never got to see the same side that I would see when we would have sleepovers and giggle all hours of the night. Once almost eating the Scrabble game piece instead of the popcorn we were snacking on. We spent the night together when my parents went away and woke up early in the morning to watch Live Aid together on MTV. I remember one Christmas she called and told me to come down, that her parents had bought her the very first game system. We played Donkey Kong and Frogger for hours. A video game system now sat in the room that was formerly known as “the toy room” when we were younger and played Barbie dolls. We would sew dresses for them and had Barbie stuff from one side of the room to the other. To this day, I can’t eat black raspberry ice cream because we put peanut butter on it and I ended up getting sick to my stomach. It had nothing to do with the ice cream or peanut butter, but we ate too much junk food. I remember getting new records or new tapes and later cd’s that I would rush to her house to play. We would sing until we learned every word of the songs. I remember several times almost missing the school bus because she would go rewash her hair and start over because something didn’t look right. She’d change her clothes multiple times and clothing would be thrown around the room like a hurricane just hit. Still, every day I walked from my house to hers to wait for the same routine and same frantic scurry of trying to look perfect just to go to school. As younger kids, we discovered an older lady who was hosting bible school out of her house. We spent hours and hours at Grandma Royer’s house listening to bible stories and both accepting the Lord as our Savior. So again, it’s not goodbye my friend. It’s so long until we meet again. I know you are with our Lord and I will see you again.

Photo by Kat Smith:

Journey of Faith

Seasons Change

It’s strange being home and getting to experience the full range of seasons that I didn’t really get to enjoy before. When you live near Erie, it’s like living in a snow globe. I would constantly feel like someone was shaking it for kicks. It would be Spring, Winter, and Summer sometimes all in the same day. I’m not kidding. I think that our lives go through that sometimes as well. We all go through different seasons and each one brings some kind of change and growth into our lives. I’ve learned to try to roll with the punches, because there isn’t much that I can do about somethings that happen. I just need to fully rely on God, and pray that he can guide me through the rough spots and remember to praise and bless him always. Regardless if it’s a rough season or a good one.

King Solomon wrote the book of Ecclesiastes. It’s a vision into human life. If you haven’t read the entire book, I definitely recommend it. It’s a good read, and maybe even reading it more than once. It will give you some perspective that recognizes the rule and reign of God in the world. This is a great book for men and women who have seen more than their fair share of pain and instability in life but who still cling to their hope in God. Our life is a journey and no matter what happens, God remains constant in our life. Even when injustice and uncertainty threaten to overwhelm us, we can trust Him and follow after Him. (Ecc. 12:13-14

Now all has been heard;
    here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
    for this is the duty of all mankind.
14 For God will bring every deed into judgment,
    including every hidden thing,
    whether it is good or evil.

Ecclesiastes shows us a person who lived through this process and came out on the other side with a wiser, more seasoned perspective. King Solomon had everything in life that a person could ever want and NONE of it made him happy. It was all meaningless he said. I think that sometimes we focus on the wrong things and worry about the wrong things. We take too much pride in “things”. When you’re stripped of everything, and everything you own fits in a few small boxes you understand that “stuff” means nothing. It’s the people around you, that love you and care about you. It’s God and his love for you, and the faith that you have, day in and day out praising him. If we would take as much pride in our faith and in God as we do “stuff”, maybe the world wouldn’t be as messed up as it is right now.

Photo by Inna Lesyk:’

#Bible, #God, #KingSolomon, #Faith, #Hope, #Pride, #SeasonsOfLife

Journey of Faith

You weren’t made to fit in

You weren’t made to fit in. I often hear that phrase, but can I believe it, live by it, and understand it? Maybe. As a Christian, I’m taught that God has a plan for my life. That I need to give it to him and to lean not on my own understanding. Apparently, I signed up for the premier subscription. I’m also blessed. I can’t deny that at all. So how then do we deal with the every day crap that just keeps getting piled on top of us? All I can do is what I know how to do and that’s pray. Pray and talk to God about my prolems, concerns, my hope and dreams. I was so exciited when I came home from being incarcerated. I was ready to conquer everything with a new outlook. I didn’t plan to end up with a 3rd retinal detachment. That wasn’t in my plans AT ALL. I wasn’t planning on having to have two surgeries to fit it, which then has left me with worse vision that I had before. As I sit here and type this, I’m only able to do so because my loving husband bought a huge monitor for me to be able to then use bigger fonts. The other day we went outside and a Dove built a nest inside the rafters of one of our outdoor structures. My husband pointed to it and said, “do you see it?” I said yes, but only faiintly could I see it. I couldn’t see the fine details, or if there were any babies in the nest. Those days of seeing fine details further away are now gone. Tomorrow, I go to see my surgeon for another follow up. As frustrated as I am, I’m not sure how I want to approach this appointment. Do I want to go in and shake the crap out of him and scream, “why “? Absolutely. Will I? No, of course not. This man has the bed side manner of a stick. I want answers to the “why’s”. and I need to know the “how’s” to proceed for the future. When I was told that my retina detached for the 3rd time, I was basically told that the best possible surgery to have was one that resulted in adding silicone oil to my eye to then stay there and then be removed at a later day. Previously, I was given a gas bubble that self absorbed over time. The reason I was told that the oil was now the better option was because I had a tear in the past. What I wasn’t told was the possible problems afterwards and if given a choice which would I have chose. You go to doctor’s and rely on their expertise. Here’s what happened after the fact, leaving me in the situation I’m now in. Whenever you have eye surgery or certain trauma’s to your eye, it requires you develop a cataract. Therefore, I had that surgery years ago and was given an IOP or lens to correct the cataract. After the oil was placed in my eye and removed last November, I expected to be able to see crystal clear and things be the same as they were. That didn’t happen. I started noticing what appeared to be particles floating around and as if I was looking through smudged glasses. I brought this up several times at my other appointments, but nothing was ever said. I figured it was part of the recovery process. Finally, a month ago I was able to go see a regular eye doctor for new glasses. I brought up my concerns to him and he sat and listened to me with the same care and concern that I felt. I also shared with him a medical article I found online from an opthalmology website discussing the silocone oil and people that have IOP’s (lens) in their eyes. The article stated that oil isn’t a good idea because they are finding that all of the oil isn’t able to be removed and therefore it adhere’s to the lens, making it “dirty”. My regular eye doctor was able to see and confirm this finding during my eye appointment. He said that his concern would be that no cataract surgeon would feel comfortable removing and puttiing in a new lens because of my retinal detachment history. (How wonderful!-NOT!!). I expressed to him that I understood his concern as well because the article also addressed the fact that not all of the oil can be removed. There could always be remanants floating around. Which he also confirmed, that was the particles I was seeing. So, even if I got a new lens, there is still oil in there to potentially reattach itself to it. I asked if there was a way to flush the eye. He wasn’t sure, which I appreciated his honesty. I mean, he’s a regular eye doctor and not a retinal doctor. I also read in this article that removing the oil could create a negative space, causing the retina to pull again. Boy, what a vicious cirlce! So I indeed have a lot of questsions tomorrow during my visit. I pray that those questions can and will be answered. If not, I may be in the market for a new retinal doctor. I can only continue to also pray that whatever God’s bigger plan is for my life is soon going to take a turn for the better. This has affected my ability to work and the end of January I lost my job. I’ve been actively trying to look, but also hesitate with the challenges I’m now facing. The company I worked for was “kind” enough to lay off 4 of us, not offering any severance and it was just shy of the required time to work there to be able to collect unemployment. I’m being sarcastic of course. I started an Etsy store. If you care to take a look, that would be awesome! I’ll keep you all posted on my visit tomorrow.

Photo by Pixabay:

Bible Study

Is God taking you to the next level?

Before God takes you to the next level, he needs to separate you! Do you ever wonder why you “don’t fit in” or “why you were put in a situation you never ask for”? God is calling you to do something great. I know it doesn’t look like it right now, but he needs you to be focused on him and not the noise around you. He needs you to rely solely on him. He needs you to hear his voice and not the voice of everyone around you. God separates us for three reasons! (Isaiah 41:10) He wants to give us the tools for our destiny. 1. You’re not alone, you’ve been separated! 2. He wants you to clearly know his voice. (Proverbs 3:5-6) He wants to put us in a season where he can teach us now to know his voice and hear it. 3. To mold us in his image. When you make wine, you first need to crush the grapes. You crush those grapes and press them, but by doing so you are changing them into something totally different than what they started out as. God does that to us. He will press us and send us into intense situations to mold us into his image. Paul tells in Romans 5:1-5 that, “we also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Perserverance builds character, and character builds hope. , character; and character, hope.”

Some of us have lost touch with the Fruit’s of the Holy Spirit. In Galatians 5:22-23 there is a list of 9 Fruit’s of the Holy Spirit that each of us were given:

Fruit of the Spirit list:

  1. Love
  2. Joy
  3. Peace
  4. Patience
  5. Kindness
  6. Goodness
  7. Faithfulness
  8. Gentleness
  9. Self-control

When I was sent to prison, I learned that I needed to work on a few of these on the list. Other items on the list, I was able to show other’s and what it looked like to be kind, gentle and have joy and love in their lives. I had a roommate once tell me that she was jealous because I had so many people that truly loved and cared about me. She didn’t know what that felt like. It made me so sad because that is the same sentiment that many people in prison have. They are so far detached from their family, friends and loved ones that people have stopped caring all together once they end up in a place like that. People would ask me why I was always so happy. I heard the expression before that “sometimes people don’t like you because your gifts and calling agitate their demons.” I can say I believe that to be 100% true. People will purposely try to tick you off or rain on your parade to see you miserable. Rebuke that noise in Jesus name and send it back where it came from! You have every right to be happy and at peace. As God starts to elevate you, you will start to see these fruits grow inside of you. You’re going to want to spend more time with him, you’re going to want to please him. You are going to start to see your interests change. There are going to be friends that you’ve had for years that are no longer going to be able to be in this new season of your life. There is a song by Hillsong that explains about the grapes to wine and how God will press us into something better. Are you willing to allow God to use you and make new wine out of you?

New Wine

Words and Music by Brooke Ligertwood

In the crushing
In the pressing
You are making new wine
In the soil I now surrender
You are breaking new ground

So I yield to You and to Your careful hand
When I trust You I don’t need to understand

Make me Your vessel
Make me an offering
Make me whatever You want me to be
I came here with nothing
But all You have given me
Jesus bring new wine out of me

In the crushing
In the pressing
You are making new wine
In the soil I now surrender
You are breaking new ground

You are breaking new ground

Where there is new wine
There is new power
There is new freedom
The Kingdom is here
I lay down my old flames
To carry Your new fire today


#Hillsong, #HillsongWorship, #NewWine, #Trials, #TrustinGod, #Pressure

Journey of Faith


I recall when it was about to become the year 2020, everyone was saying that was the year for vision. As in seeing. 20/20. I can’t even recall the last time I was able to actually see that well, lol. Spiritually, however my vision has become a lot clearer. It’s been a rough couple of months since having to have two eye surgeries and not being able to properly see to read my bible. I don’t know that my corrected vision will ever be the same unfortunately. When we stay in God’s word and focus on him, the Holy Spirit leads us on the right path that we need to be taking. Psalm 119:105 tell us that “the word is a lamp onto my feet and a light onto my path.” When we stay in God’s word, it definitely keeps us on the right path and away from the devil.

The most recent eye surgery that I had, has left the vision in my right eye blurring but manageable. I’m very disappointed in the outcome and feel that I wasn’t told everything that could possibly happen. Otherwise, I may have chosen a different type of surgery to undergo to fix it. Before Thanksgiving, I had the oil removed in my eye that was inserted to fix the retinal detachment. I noticed immediately that things appeared to be hazy. I could see what looked like bubbles still floating around. I mentioned this several times to my surgeon, but he didn’t seem to be concerned. I finally took it upon myself to google, “hazy vision after oil removed from vitrectomy”. Wow, I was shocked to see a few things actually pop up. According to the website that I found, it all made perfect sense. Years ago, when I had my first retinal detachment, I had to then have cataract surgery. They implanted a lens. My guess is that they implanted a silicon lens, but I am not sure about that. What happens when they injected the oil into my eye for this last surgery, there is no guarantee to remove 100% of it. On top of this, the oil is known to adhere to the lens in cataract patients. Essentially, I am now walking around with a dirty lens. I saw the regular eye doctor 2 weeks ago and he confirmed my suspicions. I went back to re-read the article I read because he wasn’t sure what the plan of action would be to fix it. It was disheartening to read that they could “possibly” flush the eye, or I could end up having to have a lens replacement. The problem though is that if they don’t get the oil out 100%, this would just happen again. My eye Dr’s fear was that no other doctor would be willing to even try to replace the lens because of my history. I too think that it would be risky because if they removed the oil, there could be a displacement of fluid and then cause the retina to pull away again because of shrinkage. Lovely huh? Currently the best he was able to get my vision was 20/40. Even then, I struggle with very small print, and also some details. Certain letters, I mistake for another. For example, D look like O’s, R’s and P’s can be tricky. I now have to learn how to adjust my world around my new vision. I’m thankful to the Lord that I can still see and I’m not 100% blind. Had this all occurred in prison, I can assure you that I would be blind. Again, praise the Lord for bringing me home.

I can rely on the doctors to guide me to what happens next in my physical vision journey, I trust in the true healer and physician for my sight.

Photo by Pixabay:

#SpiritualVision, #Vision, #EyeSurgery, #TrustInTheLord, #TheHealer

Bible Study

The Devil’s Gateway

I have been sickened the last few weeks watching highlights of the Grammy’s, the Super Bowl half time show, as well as other highlights from various concerts and shows. I shouldn’t be surprised, but then again, I wasn’t as mature in my faith before as I am today in order to understand what I am seeing. Let me explain.

Our bodies are a fortress and belong to God. Like any fortress, we need to put gates up to close access to the enemy (or Satan) from being able to gain access. A gate protects. So what entrance ways am I referring to? There are the eyes, nose, mouth, touch, ears. We can do simple things to protect these areas like, walking away from gossip, choosing to not watch a certain show or listen to a certain broadcast, etc. These seem easy enough, but Satan knows that, so he finds ways to infiltrate in a way that we don’t easily notice. I’m going to refer you to another site: where you can read more about what I’m trying to explain here. I strongly encourage you to do your own research as well to be better informed.

When I was in prison, I had a roommate start to tell me about how many of the stars, actors, actresses and musicians belong to the Illuminati. I thought she was joking. I had heard about them before, in the news, on the History Channel and after reading Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. Now that I’m home, this is all that I am hearing about. These people are coming out on stage to accept awards, sing and perform and the first thing they do is make this triangle sign with their two hands lifting it up above their heads. (You can see some more demonic symbolism here: I had not watched the Grammy’s this year but was horrified to see people I enjoy listening to dressed like demons and just being blatant about it. If you don’t know what I’m referring to, Sam Smith’s performance was nuts. ( I have recently seen videos of a concert by The Weeknd subliminally flashed the word SATAN during a concert in 2017. So, Rhianna’s Super Bowl half time show didn’t surprise me when she came out decked in all red and flashed the illuminating sign prior to signing. Even her eye looked filled with evil. I like Rhianna’s music and the Holy Spirit convicted me so much that I couldn’t watch it. Perhaps people either chose to not see what’s happening now, or maybe as a society we have grown callus and insensitive. Why has this become so normal that they can just waltz out on stage and perform a satanic ritual in front of the world? Ironically, there was a commercial that playing during the Super Bowl that was in reference to Jesus. That received a LOT of backlash. (ps:// So, if we want to believe that everyone can worship who they want, then why the fuss about this ad? Why the acceptance of these performers worshiping Satan? You can’t have it both ways!

We as a society have pushed God so far out of our lives, out of everything we do that we can’t be surprised when he doesn’t rush to our aid. We have made him second fiddle and only call on him when we need him. Our country was founded on trusting in him, and yet we’ve allowed him to be removed from everything. It only seems fitting that Satan would use music to entice us to him. Many don’t realize that Lucifer was the angel of music.

Photo by Mo Eid:

#Satan, #SatanicWorship, #2023SuperBowl, #Grammys

Journey of Faith

This isn’t easy

Again, I’m sorry for leaving you all hanging for so long. The title says it all. This isn’t easy. After everyone left to take NA home, it was just myself, my husband and our younger son. We stood there for the longest time just staring at each other. Wondering if what just happened, actually happened. My husband started then texting our oldest son who again was away at cheer champ. He was almost 2 plus hours away from home. My husband starts laying into him about why his friends were still at our house? Why were they still here? Did he know they were here drinking? It was 20 questions crammed into text after text from my husband to our son. Needless to say, he was clueless and had no idea what we were talking about. While we are texting him, he starts texting a group chat to his friends. I have a copy of the text that was NOT allowed into evidence. Again, we don’t understand why. Our son proceeds to ask, “what were you guys at my house”? To which a few responded that it wasn’t them because they weren’t there, or they were at work (DG for example). SH started texting and stated, “Dude why are you mad at me, I’m sober AF”. I think this statement said it all right there. He was sober as Fu##! We didn’t know about this text message until after the fact. I’m not sure since what happened next, that my son recalled even sending it. My husband and I decided to order pizza because after all of this, I was not in the mood to cool. We were still trying to gather our thoughts on what to do next. As far as we knew, everyone left and went to NA’s house with NA’s dad and sister to get NA home. We were no longer in charge or “care” of them. They were now in the “care” of NA’s parents. They stayed at NA’s house for maybe half an hour. I was under the impression they drove there, but later it was said that they didn’t drive there. They rode w/ NA’s sister. (She was never called upon to testify on my behalf or the states-isn’t that odd?) While they were at NA’s house, DG called to see where everyone was. Someone texted him to state what happened and so he apparently went to the A’s home. He then drove SH, NM, and CH back to our house to retrieve their cars. Let’s stop here for moment. Think about everything that has happened in this time frame and the amount of people that they have been around, including CH and DG. Even if you took CH out of the mix since he was at the house w/ SH and NA that day, that leaves DG, NA’s mom, dad and sister, and my husband and I all seeing them. That’s six of us that saw them, talked to them, spent time with them. All saw them carry a huge kid who was intoxicated into his parents’ home. Remember prior to this DH and CH took our youngest son w/o permission to a convenience store. So, anyone at that store or waited on them saw them. That’s a LOT of people from approximately 4:30ish until they left our house around 6:00pm. So, they came back to our house to get their cars. CH never came back inside. We never saw him again after that. DG lied in court to say that he came back to the house and heard me tell my husband that in front of NA’s Dad “I’m the boss and we do what I say”. This appeared in the paper I believe, and several people asked us about it. He wasn’t even there when NA’s dad was at our house. I also don’t speak this way to anyone, let alone my husband of 29 years. You don’t stay married for 29 years talking to people like that. SH did come back inside with NA for a few minutes. We were still in shock. We asked them to sit down. We wanted answers. We again asked what happened and why they were at our house. SH answered telling us the exact same story NM told us earlier. That NA grabbed a bottle of rum, guzzled it and no one could stop him. I said you know he could’ve died. Why did you not call us or your parents? They had no answers. I did tell them that I was going to talk to their parents about what happened. NM was very upset. Knowing what we know now, I understand he had reason to be worried. My husband asked both of them if they had been drinking that day and they both said no, only NA. I even said, please tell us the truth because at this point the jig is up. I just need to know if you’re intoxicated or not. Neither appeared to be. Neither smelled of alcohol and the house when we got home did not look like a party occurred. There was nothing displaced, no trash, nothing. Only people who didn’t belong. I’m still confused how they left the house that day not once but 3-4 times and came back, and it was NOT considered trespassing. It was even thrown in our face that DG had the garage code. He had it because there was a time or two when we let the dogs out when were away for the day. We’d pay him to do so. I believe that giving someone permission to enter your home once isn’t a carte blanche forever. SH and NM walked outside because SH was getting texts from his dad. Eventually his dad called him when they walked outside to say goodbye to our youngest son. His dad told him to get home he had chores and his parents wanted to see him before going to a football camp later in the week. Now here’s something that wasn’t brought up either. His dad was asking him why it was taking so long. SH told him that they had to help with NA and what happened, He told his dad that they had to take him home because NA’s dad wouldn’t come get him. Hmm.. So, if he told his dad what occurred that day, why did his dad not call us fuming and asking us questions? Why did he call NA’s dad fuming? We heard through the grapevine that for the longest time SH’s dad was pissed at NA’s dad because of all of this. Until I guess they decided to throw shade my way and make me the fall gal. But heah, later the parents all claimed they had no idea about this, about the past, everyone all of a sudden became ostriches with their heads in the sand.

Photo by Olena Bohovyk:

Journey of Faith

Thank you

Sorry, that I haven’t posted as often as I should be. This next piece is very difficult for me, so I need to make sure that the words that I write, express the right things. I can’t tell you how overwhelmed I’ve been with all of the support that I’ve received from my blog. I’ve known who has supported me through this entire ordeal, but to see people I don’t know has been uplifting. As I continue to post and provide the story in my own words to you, the reader I need you to know something. I’m worried and afraid. From the time that all of this came out after the arrest, the victim’s families have been relentless. They have contacted the DA, probation, now parole, and anyone they can to spew lies to hoping for someone to believe them. Unfortunately for someone like me, victims have a lot of sway due to law in Pennsylvania giving them a “Bill of Rights”. (,of%20crime%20support%20a%20program%20to%20benefittheir%20victims.) I completely get it, and if I was on that side of the fence, I would want protection and rights too. The problem occurs when some take advantage of it for their own gain. So much so that my attorney at the time had to send a letter to the DA’s office asking for the one mother to be investigated for infringing on my due process by not allowing witnesses to talk be questioned. Also, by threatening them in various ways if they did. I have the letter my attorney sent; however, nothing was ever done about it. She went on to then purchase roundtrip airfare for DG’s sister to fly home. When he was questioned about it in court, he got irate with my lawyer stating, “it was none of his damn business”. Until the Judge told him he had to respond, to which he said, “yes”. The two mother’s purchased lavish gifts for some, including engraved watches and paid for graduation parties for at least two of them. That was laughed off by the DA/Judge because they didn’t’ get to do this with their own children. No! That’s not ok, they were witnesses in a criminal investigation. NO ONE should have been able to have access to witnesses let alone buy them off. (This was all recorded in court by the court stenographer). They were all hanging out, exchanging stories I’m sure, and attending gatherings together. When I was originally arraigned. I was told to not have ANY contact with the victim’s, their families, directly or indirectly. The only information the lawyer was given at the time was a paper with initials on it. No names. So, some of the people I had no idea who they actually were. (The DA will claim that I did and basically make it seem like i was playing dumb). I honestly didn’t know who some of them were, even after receiving actual names. Remember CS, how I told you the guys stopped hanging around him because he was smoking weed? Well, I was friends well most all of these people on Facebook. Most either by this point blocked me or I blocked them. However, since there were some, I wasn’t sure if I did miss one or two. One of the boy’s parents posted a picture on Facebook and I commented on it. I then started chatting with her on messenger. I don’t recall the exact conversation, but it eventually ended with me asking if they’d be willing to talk to my lawyer. I was wrong about this person 1000% and the entire thing was bait. Dummy me took it. Next thing I know we were back in court to have to now report to pretrial probation. Unfortunately for my husband, he did too even though he did nothing wrong. I was the one that conversed with her. The argument however was that we had no idea WHO the victims were because we never received a list from the DA’s office. They didn’t care. So, when we reported to the probation office, they asked what happened. She asked me who the victims were so they could update their system. I explained to them that we didn’t know. She asked if we had the list, they gave us. We said, that’s the problem. We never received it. She looked online and through the paperwork. She said, you are correct. There is NOT a list anywhere. She said how where you supposed to know who not to talk to? EXACTLY!!! Nevertheless, we both stayed on pre-trial probation until the actual trial/sentencing. This then opened the door for the one mother to find anything possible to snag me on, hoping I’d end up in jail pre-trial. I closed down my social media pages so there would be no issues there. I provided proof of doing so to my probation officer. I’m sitting at work one day and get a call from my PO that I need to come in asap. There’s a problem. She knew it was BS. I still had to leave work and go in to address the problem though. Someone from my lawyer’s office met me there. Apparently, in messenger there was an email chain that included this one mom. At one time, I was part of this chain as well since back then were all friends. Another person used this old message chain and somehow tagged this mom with it. Well, she said I was contacting her. You could clearly see the message didn’t come from me. We have no idea how or why it occurred, but it was resolved that IT WAS NOT ME. That evidently ticked her off, because then not long after I get called again. This time by my PO’s supervisor. I have to come in for an administrative hearing. This was in front of the Judge. Someone went to great lengths to actually set up another Facebook account with my name. The problem was that it wasn’t spelled correctly, there was no photos and no friends attached to it. My Facebook was still showing as turned off. I had several people go in and try to look to see if I was showing up on their friends lists etc. I wasn’t. They had no proof where this new page came from. Again, my PO knew that it was garbage because heck someone with my same name in another state could have started setting up a page. I would have gotten no benefit from opening another page. You can’t see much if people have their privacy set to certain things. My lawyer and PO even said that I could have had better luck just using someone else’s page to go on and be nosey. The Judge ignored it. What we did find out though is that the other victim’s family has a relative that works in the probation office. I immediately brought that to my PO’s attention and my lawyers. Technically in my opinion my probation then should have been transferred to somewhere else to be handled. No one cared. When I was finally sentenced and sent to jail to start my prison sentence, they no longer had access to me. They weren’t satisfied with the fact that I was already behind bars. Instead, they decided to now go after my oldest son. It started by stating that he showed up at some address where her son was at this particular day. She said that my son pulled up and got out of the car and threatened her son that if his mom didn’t back off that he would hurt or kill him. (I can’t recall which, but she claimed he threatened to harm her son). She filed a protection order against my son to stay away from the entire family, not be within so many feet, etc. Of course, she then made sure that it was published in the paper by her news reporter friend at the time. My husband and son showed up to court and was told to basically accept it and move on. She had no proof he said this, no witnesses, no proof her son was at this house or that my son showed up at this house. We had proof that in fact it was impossible for my son to be there because he was with my husband and my in-law’s eating crabs. Prior to that he was working. After receiving his PFA, a few weeks or so later he went to a high school football game. Next thing he knew, he received a call from the High School resource officer that she was claiming he followed her son around the stadium, stalking him, harassing him, etc. She was trying to get him arrested for violating the PFA. The resource officer called us because he wanted us to know that he already contacted the DA’s office. Why? he went in and pulled the video footage for the entire evening. He said that our son arrived at the stadium, walked over to the bleachers, sat down, talked to some friends and left. Her son was nowhere in sight! She would never be held accountable for filing false reports. They didn’t care. Just take the lumps and move on. The paper wouldn’t rescind the story because, “people don’t want to know the truth.” Remember, I told you that before? Well, here it is. They eventually stopped bothering us. The PFA ended when her kids graduated school. My best friend, who WAS her sister made sure that the Judge, DA and anyone who listens knows that this lady is NO LONGER her sister. She wanted to be sure that her and her family weren’t somehow included in that PFA. My best friend has stood by us even to this day. She even made sure to call my current parole officer to let him know who she was and filled him in on some of the details she felt they needed to know. Every day, I would pray for everyone involved in this entire situation. Why? When you let stuff like this fester in you, and you don’t forgive people, you are the one that suffers. You forgive for yourself, so that you can have peace. Otherwise, not forgiving is like getting up and drinking poison hoping that someone else gets sick from it.